Well I finally feel "normal" again after my relationship breaking down and moving out of the home we shared and having to start my life over again.
I try not to think of what could have been - as mentally I cannot afford to do that. I have not seen him since I left the house, we have had a few conversations and thats it - but nothing to give me a clue as to "WHY"......
But thats ok - I have now accepted the fact that its all over and there is no going back. So time to move on with my life.
I now no longer cry over what "could have been", and nor do I cry about the past and how he hurt me so bad - and thats a big plus for me - I never realised that I could cry so much, I'm sure I could have ended the water shortage they were having in NZ....lol..... (See I can laugh now)
I have finally realised that my relationship was the casualty of a long distance disaster. We lived in two different countries for almost four years - at the time it all seemed good and appeared to be working well (in my eyes), but I do remember him telling me one day that he had become somewhat independent and got used to living on his own - what an awful thing to say to someone you have been with for 10years.
If I am honest with myself when I look back things probably had never been right for the last 14 months. We had been living as friends (with no benefits), quite like flatmates really. And it was not until I began living on my own that I finally realised how miserable my life had been.
So hooray for me for moving on and at last feeling good about me (I have lost 16kgs in the process) and being happy at last.
Today I'm linking up with Grace from "With Some Grace" for FYBF
I try not to think of what could have been - as mentally I cannot afford to do that. I have not seen him since I left the house, we have had a few conversations and thats it - but nothing to give me a clue as to "WHY"......
But thats ok - I have now accepted the fact that its all over and there is no going back. So time to move on with my life.
I now no longer cry over what "could have been", and nor do I cry about the past and how he hurt me so bad - and thats a big plus for me - I never realised that I could cry so much, I'm sure I could have ended the water shortage they were having in NZ....lol..... (See I can laugh now)
I have finally realised that my relationship was the casualty of a long distance disaster. We lived in two different countries for almost four years - at the time it all seemed good and appeared to be working well (in my eyes), but I do remember him telling me one day that he had become somewhat independent and got used to living on his own - what an awful thing to say to someone you have been with for 10years.
If I am honest with myself when I look back things probably had never been right for the last 14 months. We had been living as friends (with no benefits), quite like flatmates really. And it was not until I began living on my own that I finally realised how miserable my life had been.
So hooray for me for moving on and at last feeling good about me (I have lost 16kgs in the process) and being happy at last.
Today I'm linking up with Grace from "With Some Grace" for FYBF
Gosh, it sounds like you've been having a really tough time. Good on you for picking yourself up and moving forward. It sounds like it was somewhat inevitable, but that doesn't make it any easier. I look forward to reading more of your blog. I've just quit sugar myself, so I'm keen to know how you're finding it! #FYBF :)
ReplyDeleteHi Lara
DeleteQuitting sugar was hard but now I don't have a problem saying no - which is a huge step for me, and if I do eat it I feel so sick and awful - its like its a poison to me now. Good luck with your quitting sugar.
Good to be able to move forward! It's nice to feel good about oneself!
ReplyDeleteIt sure is nice to be feeling good about me for a change
DeleteStrength and thoughts to you hon. Remember one step at time and forward is always the way to go!
ReplyDeleteKeep smiling and stay strong. x
Thanks for your kind words x
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ReplyDeleteWell done for getting through the hardest part of a break up. But remember to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve what you once had. Break ups are hard, especially if you have dedicated 10 years of your life to one person. You need to give yourself time to heal and get to know yourself again as an individual.
ReplyDeleteWell done on the weight loss! If I was in your situation I would have put on that amount, not lost it. V.
Thanks for your words of wisdom - I am finally beginning to know myself again, its been a while.
DeleteRelationship break ups are hard, good on you for channeling your energy into positive changes. I'm not sure I could ever give up sugar, so I am in awe at those who do.
ReplyDeleteKeep smiling!
I have to be positive otherwise I'm sure I'd break into a million pieces..... But I'm smiling and I'm not going to stop
DeleteWow 16 kg is a great lose, but more importantly that you're feeling much more positive, lovely to hear that. Emily
ReplyDeleteHooray for you on so many levels!!
ReplyDeleteAs a fellow 40ish person I know that it's the perfect decade to start fresh.
go you!
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
Thanks Leanne
DeleteIts a scary thought that starting afresh but I'm feeling real positive about the whole thing and looking forward to my new adventures.
Hello again!! Guess who won the double DVD give away at Deep Fried Fruit. You did!!!! Announced on Deep Fried Fruit Facebook today :)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.facebook.com/pages/Deep-Fried-Fruit/166419183509592
I need your full name and postal address so we can get them out to you. You can PM me through Facebook or contact me through Leanne at LeanneSheaLangdown dot com.
Cheers and congrats :)
Thanks so much Leanne - you have made my day. Can't wait to watch the DVD's xxx
DeleteMany thanks..